Former CIA spy Bob Ho takes on his toughest assignment to date: looking after his girlfriend's three kids (who haven't exactly warmed to their mom's beau). When one of the youngsters accidentally downloads a top-secret formula, Bob's longtime nemesis, a Russian terrorist, pays a visit to the family. Bob Ho, a Chinese spy working with the CIA to stop a man named Poldark, has been posing as an importer while dating his neighbor, Gillian, a single mother with 3 children. When Bob captures Poldark, he retires from the spy game. He wants to make a commitment to Gillian, but her children are not exactly warming up to him. When Gillian has to go out of town, Bob offers to take care of the kids while she's away, which proves to be no easy task. Poldark somehow escapes, and it's apparent that some in the Agency helped him. At the same time, Colton (one of Bob's CIA associates) asks him to look at something Poldark had on him that appears to be encrypted, hoping he can crack it. When the children rummage through Bob's home to see what they can find out about him, they discover the file and download it. When they try to open it, Poldark tracks it down and sends his people to take care of Bob. Bob manages to deal with them and then takes the children and goes on the run. Hands down the worst movie I've ever seen Jackie Chan in, and that's saying a lot. Basically we have a recycled version of The Pacifier that hits so far off the mark, someone in Africa probably got hit in the ass with it. REALLY? Do we REALLY need to see the same story redone so badly little kids actually ask their parents to leave the theater? This movie didn't hold the attention of anyone I watched it with. The kids got up and left the room, the wife decided it was time to clean the kitchen, and the family that was staying with us went for a walk. I rented this thing from the Redbox and all I can say is: I WANT MY DOLLAR BACK. If this review keeps even one person from sitting through this horrible waste of time movie I'll have done my good deed for the day. Do yourself a favor, instead of watching this abortion, go watch The Pacifier again. You'll be glad you missed this one. Jackie Chan should be hiding his head in shame over this thing. If I had the choice between watching this movie again, or contracting inoperable brain cancer I would choose the cancer. I wouldn't feed this movie to my mother-in-law's dog, and I hate that dog. This movie should be used to punish 5 year old children when they have killed their parents and burned down their house. 100,000 copies should be air dropped over Afghanistan to force the surrender of Al-Qaeda, because after watching this they won't have any enthusiasm left for anything. Most likely they would suicide bomb themselves. This movie is so bad, its not even humorous to watch as a "bad" movie. If you have nothing else to do in your life, and this is the only movie left in the world you haven't watched, just skip it and die already. I have a suspicion that if you watch this movie you will go to Hell by default. Spy Next Door is the cutest comedy this year. The actors are excellent. The story is sweet, touching, and funny. Jackie Chan's martial art is clever in that he uses all the items next to him to fight. The movie is so well directed and well written. It is an action movie which is also about love, family, and friendship. My son, who is 6 years old loved it. He watched it 6 times within one weekend. We both laughed so much as we watched it together. I was also very touched by the affection which developed between Bob (Jackie Chan's character) and the kids. The three children actors were outstanding. I hope to see more of them in other movies. I realized that Jackie Chan was such a good actor as I had never watched a movie where I could see his acting. I am very impressed by him in this movie. This is a great movie for a whole family to enjoy. Everybody knew to wait for the outtakes during the closing credits, because you'd see him miss a fire escape or land wrong in the truck going under the bridge. Now the outtakes involve his use of the English language.
Benmari replied
346 weeks ago